I'll show you par
I know its been a finity of scout camps since I've written, and several people have put in requests (two thus far, but the rest are obviously waiting for the next installment)
When you approach the topic of golfing, you get this feeling inside of you very similar to the feeling when you spill juice on your pants, namely that you lose most of the feeling in your crotchoidal area.
*Note: crotchoidal is made up.
I know I do at least. Haha! Anyway, yeah golf can be considered a pretty hardcore sport. When you watch the pros playing, you notice that they make golf look pretty easy. Occasionally, they pull boneheaded maneuvers that only ameteurs (myself) would do, such as hit the ball in the opposite direction of the green into hazardous zones (like water), but for the most part just whack the crap out of the ball.
The first time I attempted golf (real golf, not golfing on astroturf with glorified mallets), I went to the driving range with my dad on a rainy day. Any normal person would notice the rain outside and say, "Hey Dave, its raining, so lets just go inside and enjoy a cold one." Not my dad. So I stepped up to the ball, and began the long process of standing so that when you start the backswing you don't tear muscles that were never meant to be torn (yeah, those ones). After a steady backswing, I whipped the club around at 983 miles per hour like the pros. I missed the ball, but by some miracle of God I managed to throw the pitching wedge 4 stories high. It landed over by some regular civilians, who looked at me with severe disdain. My dad motion at them that everything was ok and casually walked over to the club as if nothing had happened. I retired from golf for a while after that.
Luckily, I'm slightly better now. I can use a "driver" which actually doesn't do much driving at all, but rather allows me to put an amazing curve on the ball that allows it to travel exactly 400 yards to my right. I also have mastered the art of kicking my golf back after a lousy shot.
Overall, golf is a memorable sport. I know I have memories. I'm specifically thinking of the time at golf city when I hit my ball into fully-populated mini golf course at Golf City. Ah, what memories I have!
When you approach the topic of golfing, you get this feeling inside of you very similar to the feeling when you spill juice on your pants, namely that you lose most of the feeling in your crotchoidal area.
*Note: crotchoidal is made up.
I know I do at least. Haha! Anyway, yeah golf can be considered a pretty hardcore sport. When you watch the pros playing, you notice that they make golf look pretty easy. Occasionally, they pull boneheaded maneuvers that only ameteurs (myself) would do, such as hit the ball in the opposite direction of the green into hazardous zones (like water), but for the most part just whack the crap out of the ball.
The first time I attempted golf (real golf, not golfing on astroturf with glorified mallets), I went to the driving range with my dad on a rainy day. Any normal person would notice the rain outside and say, "Hey Dave, its raining, so lets just go inside and enjoy a cold one." Not my dad. So I stepped up to the ball, and began the long process of standing so that when you start the backswing you don't tear muscles that were never meant to be torn (yeah, those ones). After a steady backswing, I whipped the club around at 983 miles per hour like the pros. I missed the ball, but by some miracle of God I managed to throw the pitching wedge 4 stories high. It landed over by some regular civilians, who looked at me with severe disdain. My dad motion at them that everything was ok and casually walked over to the club as if nothing had happened. I retired from golf for a while after that.
Luckily, I'm slightly better now. I can use a "driver" which actually doesn't do much driving at all, but rather allows me to put an amazing curve on the ball that allows it to travel exactly 400 yards to my right. I also have mastered the art of kicking my golf back after a lousy shot.
Overall, golf is a memorable sport. I know I have memories. I'm specifically thinking of the time at golf city when I hit my ball into fully-populated mini golf course at Golf City. Ah, what memories I have!
posted by Dagstaff at 10:51 PM
1 Comments:
Golf was created by a man that later went insane. You have been warned. Not to mention it's sooo expensive. Clubs, green fees, balls, post tramatic stress counseling after years of missing the dreaded 3 foot putt. You have been warned. ;)
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